Daughter's suggestion for dinner tonight was jacket potato with a little butter and cheese and some salad. That's what we had and it was tasty, simple, filling and reminiscent of a pub lunch. We'll be having that again.

I went out for a cracking walk with my parents today. I've been itching for a good walk for a few weeks although the weather's never been particularly handy. There was a cold wind in exposed sections which really blew out the cobwebs but was very refreshing after storming up a couple of good hills. Lunch was taken at the wonderful remains of a Roman villa and I had a nice time wandering around the site before filling myself up with home-made venison pasties and half a can of Budweiser. It was only six and a half miles but it really did me a lot of good and I'll be trying to get some more exercise - swimming hopefully - this week in response to the lack of walking time I'm getting.

With some of my birthday money I bought a few games on ebay. The stand-out of the three games I bought is Okami which I'm so incredibly pleased with it has already surpassed its £10.50 price tag and I'd have happily considered paying full price for it. It's simply beautiful and beautifully simple, it stands up next to the Zelda games in terms of depth of story and character and it seems a proportion of Twilight Princess was inspired by this title. It's vast and has major exploration value in many little side-quests and points of interest and I regard it very highly, so much so that I may not resell it on ebay as I'd intended, rather keep it to play again in the future or to give as a gift.

My good friend brought her Malaysian travelling friend over to hang out with daughter and I while she went to a class. Sean was a nice guy, good company and seemed to enjoy playing Wii all night which is pretty much all we did other than chatter. I really enjoyed myself although I didn't get to sleep until late which ruined me for the next day.

It was my birthday today! I had a busy day at work, raced to recover a sick daughter from school and get her to the doctors straight after work, round to my folk's to collect cards and a nice financial surprise, then shot home so daughter could make an appointment. After a couple of hours messing on the Playstation I scrubbed-up, a couple of great friends arrived and took me into town first for a pint then across the road for Italian food. The company was fantastic - some of my favourite people - the food was good and I managed to not get completely pissed, which was a welcome difference from birthdays past. A couple of us went back to my place to chill and play games and I had a lovely night which I'll remember as one of my better birthdays, as opposed to thinking it was good through a drunken haze.

I'm in two minds about whether this makes me happy. I went to the cash machine today to check my balance before doing a little shopping. When I approached the machine it was beeping and £50 was sticking out of the cash slot. I hadn't seen anyone using the machine on my approach and noone was wandering around looking confused so I took the cash and held onto it for a couple of minutes while I checked my balance. Noone came back to the machine so I pocketed the money and went about my business. I feel bad, but I gave £10 to daughter and spent £26 on food and daughter's hair dye. The balance of my account was actually shocking so the money's come in very handy. I need to get over my guilt, and I will... By spending the rest on drinks for me and my friend later.

After a meeting with a new social worker, daughter made me smile with a few observations.

• I very rarely ask her to do chores. I put this down to knowing she was used kind of like a 'runaround' at her mum's place, always doing jobs and fetching things for mummy from other rooms etc. I was brought up in an environment where my mum did virtually everything for me, and I want to give my daughter time to be a child.
  
• She's actually looking forward to moving into somewhere new, specifically to having her own space and being able to decorate her room.

That she's looking forward to moving gives me hope that I'm doing a positive thing in trying to take her on full-time. It felt like she had her heart set on moving back with her mother, but with her being incommunicado at the moment and the social worker saying I should 'go for it' things seem to be falling into place for that to happen. I know it's going to be a struggle and upheaval but hopefully after this we can have a period of stability and growth we can both enjoy.

One of my colleagues told me a customer had payed me a compliment. She'd said 'Who is this man on the phone who is always so nice to me?' My colleague told her 'He's always nice to everyone.' How lovely!

We made more smoothies today - blueberry, banana and oat. They looked fantastic and tasted great too, although after half an hour they'd become really thick. We should keep this up regularly - there's some great flavours out there waiting to be whizzed-up and drunk and they're so good for us, and incredibly filling too.

We made more fruit smoothies last night. This one was less inspirational than the last but I could definitely feel my body saying good things about it. Blackberry, banana, oat, honey, yoghurt and milk whizzed up to a nice thick consistency. As an attempt to get fruit back into my diet and increase my fibre intake, this is a success.

I've eaten breakfast two mornings in a row. I know this doesn't sound like much but for a guy who knows all about the benefits of a solid breakfast I've been terribly lax in having it regularly. I hope to keep it up - I know it can only have a positive influence on my general health.

One of my work colleagues told me today that they'd thought about offering me a car to help with my business launch in the spring. This would be an enormous help and I think it'd probably come at a bargain price too. The family in question are lovely and I've always been good friends with the man who mentioned it to me. I was really humbled and I'd have to work my backside off to repay their kindness.

Daughter and I went and stood on the highest hill in town to see if we could see the local town fireworks display. Unfortunately they were on last weekend so it was something of a disappointment. Less disappointing was that she saw her first shooting star and made a wish. Even better, she saw another one, and maybe another!

Last night I had one of my oldest friends over for dinner, beer and chat. It's the first time we've spent time alone together in years and I really enjoyed myself. His life is particularly difficult at the moment so hopefully I was a handy ear to bend. We talked and drank beer - not to excess - played chess and PlayStation and I finally kicked him off to bed at midnight as he was falling asleep on the sofa and is notoriously difficult to shift when he does that!

I cooked toad in the hole with home-made roasted mixed onion gravy which was just superb. The batter rose perfectly and had some soft bits and some crunchy bits, the sausages were ok (although I'd use butcher-bought sausages next time) and the gravy was sublime.

There's a few new happy things to post but until they're more concrete I'm stopping myself getting excited about them for fear of serious disappointment should it all go tits-up.

Daughter and I went out with our friend L last night. It was lovely - I'm not sure we've done anything on our own before without other friends there, so it was nice to see her.

I'd bought daughter a couple of new books. She'd read part of one of them in the back of another book and said she was looking forward to reading the whole thing because it ended on a coat-hanger. Bless her.

I had a real defining moment today. My parents and I went out for a walk around the Prime Minister's country residence of Chequers south of Aylesbury. It was a wonderful walk, full of twists, turns, ups, downs, hills, valleys, woods and open landscapes.

After six miles we stopped for lunch on the side of a valley looking down to the bottom and across to the hills on the other side; the whole view was encircled by green and orange trees ready to drop their leaves for a stiff breeze. A beef and pickle sandwich and a slug of sloe gin steeled us for the final mile of hilly terrain. As we set off the gentle drips of rain that accompanied our lunch turned into a heavy shower so I donned my waterproof jacket and set off. We went down to the valley floor, steadily up to a peak, round the side of one hill and approached the steep side of another: Beacon Hill at Ellesborough.

I'd said during lunch that I was looking for a hill that would challenge me. I wouldn't say as much to my parents but the ascents we were attempting weren't challenging me at all, and sticking to their pace - particularly my mum's, bless her - wasn't really pushing me as much as I'd like. I've felt for a while that I'd rather push like mad to get to the top and push my body hard than pace myself and not tire myself out.

So it was that I stood facing this hill with apprehension but almost certainty that I'd get to the top without stopping or collapsing. As mum and dad started steadily up the side I prepared myself by shedding my waterproof layer and rolling my sleeves up. I grabbed my walking pole, tightened my pack straps and started on my way.

After the first third of the climb, I could feel my heart pumping in my chest and my breathing was picking up. I passed my parents taking a breather half-way up and resisted the urge to look at the view they alluded to. As I kept pushing I felt twinges in my legs and feet that had announced themselves at various times through the day but they soon disappeared when the summit came into view. I was wondering how much further to go when a peak appeared and gave me something to aim for. I hadn't slowed my pace except for tough parts of terrain and on reaching the top, panting like a dog, sweating somewhat and feeling my pulse in my entire body, the sun was out and I took a look around me.

What a view! I'm not sure there are words to describe the combination of adrenaline, pride of achievement and the astounding vista which greeted me as I caught by breath at 225m elevation. I was so very pleased with myself for tackling such a hill and proving to myself that I'm capable of such things. I can definitely see how climbing up things and looking down can become addictive because I got a real natural high at the top of that hill.

My only regret is that my mum seemed eager to get on our way, so we only spent a couple of minutes at the top before descending 75m back to the car. Next time, I'll be staying for at least fifteen minutes to take everything in.

Photos to follow, hopefully.

I've just had it confirmed that one of my good friends is moving back to the area with his missus and son. It's been on the cards for quite some time but it seems now to be impending. This is great news and I'm really looking forward to having them closer to hand. They're people I feel completely at ease with and his enthusiasm for coming back is quite contagious.

We made our usual Sunday Morning Pancakes today for the first time in a couple of months. It was great fun, and I'm almost confident daughter could make them on her own now, despite a terrible attempt during the summer holidays! One great memory from this time together in the kitchen was that I made proper, sticky, sweet caramel from scratch for the first time ever. Previously it's either been burnt or gone rock solid, or both. So, getting it right this time was a triumph. Getting daughter to make it is the next step.

We also cooked a cracking macaroni cheese dish, which should provide at least six meals for about £5.50. It's bloody tasty too!

Daughter doesn't like Stilton cheese. Her face when she tried it will stick in my mind for ever.

I bought Pokemon Diamond and Pearl for daughter and I. It was a bit of an impulse purchase because I couldn't really afford it, having had a day off sick yesterday, but it was worth it. The game is great, daughter seems to enjoy it too and it's something else we can do together.

I went out with a few of my good friends this evening. It turned into a bit of a late one and I regret not coming home for ten o'clock like I'd intended, but I had a great night, supported one of my friends in his time of need and it felt great to be out and about.

This is something that might appear trivial to outside observers but I'd like to record it here anyway.

Most of my life, people have been taken aback when I refuse a cup of tea or coffee on the basis that I don't usually drink hot drinks. My childhood was full of water, squash, milk, Soda Streams and other fizzy drinks. My parents have always drunk coffee and I assume it's a bad idea to give young boys caffeine so we weren't brought up on tea.

The reason I mention this here is because I've recently started having a cup of tea every morning between eight and nine o'clock. Since the toaster at work broke and noone's been arsed to replace it, I've almost been using it as a replacement for breakfast. I'm not sure how nutritionally valuable it is in that capacity, but I've really grown to like my cuppa in the morning. I'm afraid to add that I tend to crave it around a certain time, when all the drivers have left the office and I'm alone with the internet or my book. I'm afraid to say it because I thought it'd never happen to me. Hopefully I'll never become totally addicted to tea.

Tonight we baked wholemeal cheese scones. They were a little too sweet and didn't rise so they were a bit more like biscuits than scones, but they were still good and the process of cooking them with daughter was really good fun.

We made banana apple smoothies today. Daughter did much of the work, chopping bananas and adding honey. We used banana, apple, low-fat yoghurt, milk, honey and oats, mixed up in a blender. They were absolutely gorgeous, and we'll definitely be doing it again in the future.

Daughter and I cooked topside beef stew this evening. Waitrose had a £7.50 joint reduced to £3 and two bags of pre-prepped Irish stew veg - potato, leek, carrot, lentils and herbs - reduced to 60p a pack. Daughter chopped the beef with my sharp knife - very well I may add - and browned it with the packs of veg, added half a pint of last night's San Miguel which was the closest thing we had to ale, and a litre of organic beef stock. We let it boil off for an hour and ate it with rice, and it was bloody lovely!

It's been brilliant to have daughter back this week. She's such great company. We're getting on really well, laughing and joking much of the time. I'm pleased to put in the extra effort to ensure she has a nice time while she's with me - it's so easy to slip into a routine and not make an effort... Something I need to remember for next time I get into a relationship.

Yesterday was my friend's 40th birthday, and oh boy did we celebrate in style? She decided to have a dinner party and I'd offered to make soup as a starter so she didn't have as much work to do. To this end, I left work early to cook and get myself sorted for the evening.

We had a great night, and I've taken so much away from it I'm not sure where to begin.

The thing that strikes me most is that I managed to not get terribly, horribly drunk. This is new territory for me, and I'm proud of myself for buying 4% beer instead of my usual 5-5.5% premium, which definitely helped keep me on the level. My soup went down an absolute treat; it's the first time I've cooked for more than two or three people for many years. That was incredibly fulfilling and not only was the meal warm and comforting, but the positive feedback about the dish filled me up too.

I spent time with my favourite group of people, supported a good friend and had a great laugh too.

When I got home after 3am I was finally sozzled, helped along merrily by a smoke after everyone else had made their way home. I wasn't tired in the slightest, so I tidied daughter's shelves and put all her jewellery and hair-bands away, fixed a few bits and bobs, played Grand Theft Auto for a while and finally rolled into bed around 5am.

I awoke only four hours later and couldn't see myself getting back to sleep so I got up - feeling pretty bloody rough after two late nights in a row - and made ready to welcome daughter home for a week.

I went to Oxford with my best friend to see Bat for Lashes this evening. We wandered up Cowley Road and found somewhere to have a curry and a chat. I talked for ages and feel I may have monopolised the chat somewhat.

After eating we went across the road to the O2 Academy and watched the gig. It was great to see the diversity of the crowd and the population of Oxford. It's such a vibrant and cultured town.

The performance itself was wonderful. The artist was eloquent, vocal and interactive, her band were multi-instrumental and talented and the show was captivating. The atmosphere was buzzing and tangible, not least because went from almost overheating to veritably chilly when the air-conditioning came on after three songs.

We noticed many influences in her music and presence, from Bjork to Kate Bush, PJ Harvey to Alanis Morrisette. These are legendary influences, and she wholly deserves the comparison. Although the performance seemed short - less than ninety minutes, certainly - it was a lovely evening in great company.

My best friend came over to discuss the plight of a few people in our mutual friendship group who seem to be in a lot of turmoil. This isn't a particularly happy memory in itself, but I was able to contribute ideas to the discussion which I think helped. Additionally, when she arrived I had just finished eating some of the gratin I cooked earlier in the week, and was halfway through cooking green tomato and chili jam. She said 'Something smells good,' and I showed her what I was cooking. She laughed and asked 'Can I put you on My Single Friend?'

I had to think for a minute, but soon the answer was obvious. She said 'Here you are, a good looking bloke, and you're making jam, and you're single. What do you think?' so I agreed. It's always lovely to have compliments sent your way, especially from someone as trusted as she - they don't come along that often - and it's comforting that I feel confident enough to meet new women after so many years alone.

I got my VISA debit card. This is brilliant news! I feel like I've joined the ranks of the grown-ups with this chip-and-pin wonder. I look forward to the first time someone says 'I think your card is the wrong way round', the first time I notice someone pretending to divert their eyes from watching me type in my pin. It means I can now shop online - I might even try and do my entire christmas shop on the internet this year - and I can pay for things by card instead of having to get decimal chunks of money from the cashpoint. Result.

This afternoon after work I said 'screw the weather!' and struck out for a good eight and a quarter miles walk from Buckingham to Stowe and back via Charmandean and Akeley. The clement weather broke at the outskirts of Stowe and I donned my new jacket to find it perfectly waterproof during the windy deluge which followed. I wore it for a few minutes after the rain abated until I climbed a hill and found my arms were sweating heavily in their sleeves, so I took it off and cooled down.

While at Stowe, I was buzzed by two very low Apache helicopters - low enough for me to see the pilot's face - as they hugged the terrain. I whooped and danced afterward; what a noise, what a buzz!

I also got a chance to look around my childhood home at Lamport as it is being refurbished for new occupants since Nat Thornton retired. It hasn't changed a bit since we moved out twenty-five years ago, and it even had an indescribable scent of nostalgia inside and out.

There was plenty of muddy ground and wet grass which gave my boots their best workout yet. Despite the soles at the front of my feet aching somewhat, they stood me in good stead and I'm really enjoying using them.

Finally, I fed my remaining apple to a horse in a field outside Akeley. She acknowledged the feed by dipping her head and tapping her hoof on the grass, which I thought was rather sweet.

All in all, a great walk. I faced the rain and won, I got myself off the bloody sofa and back into the great outdoors and blew out the cobwebs, which I've needed to do for a few days now. I'm proud of myself.

I made a fantastic dish tonight. I was wandering around Waitrose looking for something for dinner and I came across their ready-made potato dauphinoise. I picked it up and the thought occured that it was bloody easy to make and I'd be able to customise it to my own tastes. I'd not made my own for some time and I had a few ideas for it. I was fortunate in that they had Boursin garlic and herb soft cheese massively reduced to a quarter of its original price, so I snapped some up for the sauce. In cooking the dish, I sliced some potatoes, par-boiled them in home-made chicken stock while frying an onion. Once the potatoes were done, I drained the stock off and ladled it into the onions while adding the Boursin to make a nice creamy sauce. Once seasoned with salt and pepper and a teaspoon of mustard powder, I layered the potatoes and a sprinkle of grated mature cheddar cheese into a glass baking dish and poured on the sauce, topped with a little cheese and black pepper and stuck it in the oven for an hour. It was sensational and I ate far, far too much of it. I was so pleased I'd made the effort to cook it from scratch. It'd be a brilliant accompaniment to a chicken dish, and I must remember to add some thyme to the sauce next time.

After an interview and application process, I got my own current bank account today. This is a complete result! I think I mentioned before, but I used to be rubbish with money. It seems having stuck with one bank and kept my nose clean has actually paid off and now I have a proper account with a debit card that I can use for direct debits and PayPal and the like. This probably seems normal to anyone reading; to me, it's a massive step in getting myself on the way to normality again.

Things have finally settled down for daughter. Her mother and I decided last night that we'd share her residency one week on, one week off to give her and her boyfriend the chance to settle their life down before committing to taking her back full-time. This was a little disappointing for daughter as she'd anticipated something slightly different, but it's good for her because at least she knows what the score is now. It's also good for me, because this past six months has been as disruptive and uncertain for me as it has my daughter, so it's good to have some stability and direction for the future.

We watched I, Robot together. It's probably the fourth time I've seen it and I really like it. Daughter saw it for the first time and called at least three important plot or action devices before they happened. This amazed and impressed me greatly; I know she's sharp but for twelve years old she's pretty bloody keen-edged!

I hunted all over town for a particular chocolate bar after daughter saw one on tv and said 'I've never had a Topic bar.' She really appreciated the gesture and liked the chocolate too.

My work hours have changed back to 7am-3pm which suits me just fine, especially as the nights are drawing in now. When finishing at 4pm, I'd got to the point where I'd be home for just over an hour and it'd start getting dark. Damn this longditude and its variable daylight. It meant I couldn't really walk after work - particularly on paths I didn't know - and I was frustrated to have that taken away from me. So all's well that ends well, although I need to take advantage and start walking again!

I sent an internet friend a kid's book about Albert Einstein today. For a bookmark, I doodled a robot with an emoticon on its chest which I'm quite proud of. I took a cameraphone photo of it, imported it into Photoshop, added lines and colour and posted it here, where it got an interesting response in the form of a 3D render someone put together for practice.

Daughter and I walked out for five miles to a pub for lunch. It was great walking with her and she seemed to enjoy herself, which is always a bonus when walking. The food was good and the banter was flowing. We caught a cab home as I didn't think her legs would stand up to another five miles back. It was a lovely day and one I'd repeat in a heartbeat.

I cooked 'crispy' duck today. It wasn't entirely crispy, and it certainly wasn't dry like you'd get from a takeaway... and we used corn tortillas instead of the nice thin pancakes. I had a couple with hoisin sauce from a jar which was pretty good, and one with sweet chili sauce, while daughter had hers with honey as she doesn't like hoisin. They were served with strips of cucumber and spring onion and overall it worked quite well. The half duck was expensive but we got five large and three small wraps out of it, so it wasn't too bad.

I played a couple of games of chess. I won the first against what I'd consider to be a weak opponent, then lost to a more realistic match as I ran out of time. Playing under time pressure isn't my strong point and I got distracted a number of times during the game. It was still great to play, though, and I should start doing exercises again as I enjoy them.

I've been working on starting a charity called Walking for Wellbeing which helps sufferers of depression by taking them out for walks in the countryside. It's been great getting my head back around HTML and stylesheets and writing all the copy, and I'm really happy with the result. You can see the site at Walking for Wellbeing.

I had my two favourite ladies in my living room this evening, chatting, playing games and enjoying themselves in each other's company. It was beautiful to see daughter making jokes and interacting so fluently with my best friend... Just beautiful. I made soup and we chatted and laughed.

Daughter came home after a week away. Whoop! I cleaned most of the house and did a tonne of washing, interspersed with computer games.

She said 'when I was little, I thought a lie-detector was a machine that knew everything'. Awesome!

I texted all my colleagues with 'Eid mubarak' and got quite a few positive responses, which was nice.

I put some stale white rolls out on my bird table last night and filled the bird bath. I was just sitting here playing Bioshock and the whole garden erupted with birds all of a sudden: blue tits, sparrows, starlings, pigeons, doves, chaffinches, maybe a greenfinch, an LBJ and blackbirds. I didn't realise how much I'd missed the birds while we were house-sitting.

I cooked something great today. I picked some tomatoes which we'd grown in the garden, chopped them up with a clove of garlic and fried/simmered them down with a couple of small whole chilis until most of the moisture had boiled off. While it was simmering, I rolled out some puff pastry, scored the edges and put it on a baking tray. I removed the chilis from the tomato paste and spread it onto the pastry, topped it with good strong cheddar cheese and a few drops of Worcestershire sauce and stuck it in the oven for half an hour. I must modestly say that it's simply brilliant and one of the tastiest things I've cooked in a while.

I put in another seven and a half miles after work today. It was about twenty minutes after sunset when I got in and it was still perfectly walkable outside. It was windy but bearably so, there were two lovely horses, I stalked a rabbit and took in a couple of cracking views.

I walked seven and a quarter hilly, hilly miles with my parents today, averaging 2.7mph around the little Cotswolds. It was lovely early-autumnal weather with clouds and sunshine and incredible views. My new boots are excellent and, despite the soles of the front of my feet feeling a little bruised toward the end, now I've got my boots off my feet feel great!

I got a message from my folks that they had something for daughter. Two minutes later there's a knock at the door and here they were. They gave daughter a lovely pair of Sketchers shoes. Wonderful! She was really happy with them and looked pleased as punch! I was so very pleasantly surprised when dad pulled out another box with an expensive and personally-selected pair of leather walking boots, a pair of thick socks, a pair of impact insoles and some wax treatment. The boots are just incredible - they feel great on my feet and ankles and while I've yet to take them for a good walk, I'm really, really chuffed with them. Great stuff!

I walked five miles after work today. It was a lovely day and the walk was a deliberate attempt to de-stress and it worked a treat, along with the small bottle of cider afterward.

Daughter and I cooked corned beef hash together. When we get together and cook, it's like magic. Hopefully we'll do it occasionally when she grows up and lives her own life.

She also asked if I was ok. I've not been myself for the past few days, with events at work getting me down. While that's not cause for recording a happy memory, daughter being concerned about me certainly is.

Daughter and I played Trivial Pursuit. I asked 'What did Bahrain discover in nineteen-such-and-such that made them rich?' and she guessed 'The moon?' When I raised an eyebrow she asked me 'Who discovered the moon?' I couldn't help but laugh.

I walked 9.75 miles today with my parents. It was great to be out, with lovely sights - including the biggest country house I've ever seen - good company and even a mini-tornado flinging hay into the air!

Daughter's gone to stay at her mum's place for the first time since Easter. This is the start of phasing her back into living there permanently, which is good for her. It's good for me too, as I have a little space this weekend.

I went to the pub to celebrate a friend finishing her Master's degree. It was a good excuse to go and get a bit pissed, and I had a great time talking with everyone.

I had a hour extra in bed today. My work hours have changed from 7am-3pm to 8am-4pm, which I'm quite happy about. It means I might be able to have more of a social life, and if I try to get to sleep around the same time I've been doing recently I'll get more sleep, which can only be a good thing. It's also handy as the days are getting shorter and it was probably only a week until it would be dark when I woke up, so at least I can stave that off for another few weeks. It'll also be nice as it means I'll see a little more of daughter in the mornings, as we'll be getting up at the same time.

Daughter and I made spring onion and lettuce risotto with bacon this evening, having been inspired by a tv show at the start of the week. I must say it was great cooking with her again, and it tasted bloody brilliant - one of the tastiest things I've eaten in a fair while. Daughter loved it too, which is always a bonus. We made it with some home-made chicken stock too, which was great. Omnomnom!

I slept in my own bed for the first time in three months last night. It's a single mattress on the floor - it's small, uncomfortable and by no means ideal, but I slept incredibly well. Getting up this morning, putting the bed away, having a shower and getting dressed was like putting on your favourite pair of trainers: comfortable.

Someone whose opinion I value told me something both comforting and disconcerting today. He told me daughter is considerably better off living with me instead of with her mum. His opinion counts simply because I considered him allied to daughter's mother and her boyfriend, but his independent and unbiased view of the situation is welcome. Unfortunately, it makes me question the decision to let daughter in back and live there, but I've got to give her the chance to try.

Daughter and I played computer games during the evening. Popcap games, baby. It's like having an arcade in your living room. Great fun.

As my friend came home for good, daughter and I moved back to our place. We had butcher's sausage, egg and chips as our last meal there, came home and asked Trivial Pursuit questions for an hour, which was much nicer than sitting in front of the tv. It felt really, really good to be home - this was the first time we'd been there for three months!

My parents, daughter and I walked to the south of Silverstone circuit today to watch the World Aerobatic Championship finals and an air display. There's so many awesome memories from this day it's hard to know where to start. We took a gentle two mile walk to where the 4x4 experience track is and found a spot out of the wind. We had a picnic and chilled out while the stunt planes did their thing right over our heads. After a short break, just when daughter was getting bored, five stunt planes took off and did their synchronised routine, and we stood on a small hill so there were literally flying right over our heads. An RAF Hawk jet followed, buzzing the circuit and, once again, flying over us a number of times.

The final plane was the absolute highlight of the day for me. A huge RAF Vulcan bomber did a number of passes, our position seemingly a magnet for all these craft. It swept past in line with the runway, then came round and flew straight over us, back along the runway at low speed increasing to full throttle, out and around, back over us with the bomb bay doors open, back around... On its final pass it headed straight towards us and once it got near, it banked away, climbing and pointing its engines at us, then full throttle. I can tell you, the fucking ground shook, daughter firmly pressed her hands over her ears and I put my arms around her as it flew away from us.

I know from my own experiences as a youngster that this moment will be one she'll never forget, and it touches me greatly that we could share it.

In total, we walked four and a half miles through some of Stowe's most tranquil countryside. The contrast between the adrenaline and noise at the air display and the quiet of the woods was wonderful.

I had some of my friend's 'Welcome Home Toots' cake and a cup of tea while we jabbered.

Daughter and I stayed up til late playing Sims 3.

I just realised that on Wednesday at our family meeting, daughter said when she finally goes back to live with her mum, she wants to stay with me for a weekend a fortnight as before, but also every Wednesday afternoon and overnight. This effectively doubles the time we get together, and she chose that herself. How lovely!

My greatest friend came back from her travels, just temporarily. We all had Chinese food and jabbered. It was fantastic to see her and hear all about her experiences. She seems so incredibly happy... although I have a creeping suspicion that she might be off again sometime soon...

I told someone some home truths. While I have a vested interest in the situation, I know I'm trying to help them see past the smoke and mirrors I know they're seeing. I feel both pleased that I want to help and apprehensive that I'm doing the right thing. All I can do is tell the truth.

We had a big meeting with social services and respective families today. Daughter's finally got something to aim for in that she'll hopefully be home for good from the start of October. I have my reservations, not least that she won't be around as much any more, but to see her happy and positive about the situation is incredibly fulfilling, and I know I played a large part in that.

On a much more self-satisfied note, I totally called the whole 'fake pregnancy' thing. Twice.

I got a call from my best friend - she's back in the country. She'll be coming back for the night tomorrow and staying as a guest in her own house! Then she'll be off again til Monday when we'll be moving back home. I'm rather looking forward to getting back into our little space.

I cooked a quick and easy meal instead of ordering-in. This was a big money-saver! Bacon and egg on toast, instead of curry. I think it was more satisfying too.

Finally, daughter and I watched Juno last night. I'd recommend this movie to anyone - it was simply brilliant, mainly due to the leading actress who was wonderful, but also thanks to a witty script and sublime soundtrack. 8.8/10.

Daughter came home today! How wonderful. We went to the pub to have a drink in the sunshine and talk through her time away. It was lovely to hear all the wonderful things she did. Then we went home and watched an episode of Jonathan Creek, then made pancakes, then laid on my bed and watched Race to Witch Mountain. Film: 6/10. Company, 10/10.

I finally tidied the house and cleaned the kitchen. It's bloody sparkling! I'm very proud of myself - it took less time than I thought and it really does look good. Whoop!

I made leek and potato soup. Again. It was bloody awesome. Again.

I was finally assertive to someone I've let manipulate me for years and years, and it worked. This felt incredible, and I bounced around and shouted and punched the air. Success here is just wonderful; it's given me a real boost.

I boiled a bacon joint today. Man, that's tasty. I cut the fat and skin off after I'd boiled it, criss-crossed it with a sharp knife, rubbed-in olive oil, sea salt and black pepper and stuck it in the oven for an hour. Top crackling! Although it was so moreish I couldn't help myself and I ate the whole portion! There was easily enough for four people there. Oops.

I heard back from a friend who I've asked to be a test case for the charity. Hopefully I'll be taking her out for a walk sometime in the next week or ten days. Excitement!

I walked another 7.7 miles with my folks today. The weather was perfect, hot with a nice breeze. We didn't do as many hills as we've done in the past, but it was still good.

I buzzed all my hair off with clippers this afternoon. It's needed doing for three or four weeks, and after walking in the sun today, and looking in the mirror afterward, I realised it was all too much. Off it came, and I feel much more like myself again now!

I had ribs from the butchers, marinated in barbeque sauce and slow-cooked in the oven for almost an hour. They were incredibly worthy. I think it's official: ribs are my favourite meat.

I had what is probably my most favourite curry today. Kashmiri mutton curry. My colleagues chipped-in ten quid each and had a big feast in the office to celebrate Pakistani independence and the last weekend before Ramadan. Everyone's always so happy when we do this, me included.

I watched The Dark Knight. What a fucking immense movie - the best I've seen in a long, long time. I enjoyed every minute of its almost two-and-a-half hours. Heath Ledger was incredible as The Joker - I can see what all the fuss was about, now.

I went for a walk with an old friend - seven and three-quarter miles. For some reason my legs ache a lot, when I'd normally be able to cover ten miles without really feeling it. Maybe it's been too long between walks; it's been nine days since my last walk, which is too long. But this walk was great - good company, good food, good beer, good sunset and brilliant countryside.

My software finally downloaded. I'm disappointed not to find the walker's standard 1:25000 map available for my area, but it's a pirate so I can't complain. I'm really pleased to find the next best thing - the 1:50000 maps for not just miles and miles around me, but most of the country too. This is really helpful, along with the annotation, 3D view and the ability to mark and measure routes, which all make it a handy piece of kit. If only I could get my local 1:25000... Maybe the charity will buy it eventually.

I made leek and potato soup for the first time in a couple of months. Man, it was fantastic... So much so I've got it for lunch at work and probably dinner this evening too. I used low-fat yoghurt instead of cream or creme fraiche, which worked wonderfully, and a few drops of tabasco with the seasoning lifted the flavour so much without adding any heat. Nom.

Some digital mapping software I've wanted for ages finished downloading. I'm excited to install it and try it out. If it's got maps for my locality, it's going to be massively helpful for the charity, which will end up buying the software eventually.

I had both cats on the bed when I put my head down this evening. It's very unusual for the male to come up for a fuss. At one point I was fussing them both with one hand!

The guy who showed interest in walking with the charity took the advice and went out for five miles with friends the following day. I hope he keeps it up. He also showed a keen interest in signing-up as a guide, which is brilliant!

I had a very quiet, relaxing weekend. I dossed on the computer for most of it, slept six extra hours over Saturday and Sunday, and had a couple beers on Sunday. Nice!

I'm keeping quite a tidy house. I've stopped letting dishes pile-up on the counter - a bad habit that creeps in when there's noone there to see - and keeping things generally in good order.

Oh! I almost forgot this, but it's definitely worth recording. I went to the doctor last week and he gave me the results of a Fasting Blood Glucose blood test I had a few weeks ago... And I don't have diabetes! I didn't think I did, but the doctor wanted to check because I'd had itchy arms previously. I'd put this down to an allergic reaction to grass pollen while out walking - I've had hayfever for the first time this year - and some strong anti-histamines made it go away. Anyway, it's nice to know I don't have diabetes!

Work was nice today. The drivers were in a good mood and we all ate together in the office. That's my favourite time at work, and the food is brilliant.

My ex-roomie and long-time-no-see friend over for dinner tonight. I cooked creative curry and we chilled and talked about life for a few hours. I really enjoyed myself this evening.

I just got my first external contact on the web site. Someone said they were feeling low on a forum and I sent the address for the web site. Their interest is comforting!

One of the drivers at work said a customer asked how old I was and whether I was seeing anyone. This, based on my telephone voice. It's nice to know someone's interested. I'm only assuming this was a female customer of course.

Today I packed daughter off to her friend's house for a few days away, then she's off to her grandma and grandpa's in Cornwall for two weeks. Jammy! This makes me happy for a couple of reasons. First, she was really excited and happy and that pleases me greatly. Second, as much as it's been lovely having her around, I've been looking forward to having a bit of a break myself, saving money for the charity and generally chilling.

I did some work on the web site. I configured FormMail.php which was a bit of a mission and may continue to be, as I haven't tested it yet! I tied up some other loose ends too, and it's very close to completion now.

I finished writing the Walking Handbook for the charity. I committed what I've learned and observed over the past six months walking, which was a really enjoyable thing to do. I love writing and loved the process of getting the information down and phrasing it properly. Word did a good job of walking me through adjusting the way it read, and I'm happy with the final outcome.

I played some more Oblivion, and realised why I like it so much. It's made by the same people and runs on the same engine as Fallout 3, which I really enjoyed. The whole role playing game thing totally does it for me. I'm a mage. I've always been a mage when I play these games. That probably says something about my personality.

I put £40 into the charity account today. This felt incredible. It's the basis of getting a telephone line and broadband account at home, which I've wanted for years and years, and will help me keep the web site in development and stay in touch with clients. I don't know how putting personal money into the charity works... Hopefully I can claim it back at some point. For now, it's an investment in the future of the charity.

I baked a carrot cake with daughter this evening. It was mostly a success, although the icing didn't thicken, the outside seemed to caramelise and it tastes faintly of bacon and popcorn. Odd, that. It was still lovely though.

I started playing Elder Scrolls Oblivion today. It's bloody ace! I've downloaded a fair number of games recently and this is one of the few that has captured my attention.

I walked eight miles across the "little" Cotswolds today with my parents. Plenty of hills, gliders, microlights, ring-tailed lemurs, giraffe, a Bud with dinner and plenty of exercise. Marvellous!

I got out of work a couple of hours early today. This was handy as I managed to stay up til 1am last night and I'm not sure I'd last a full shift!

I visited the bank on the off-chance the charity account had been set up or refused... And it's been set up! This is a complete result as I wasn't entirely sure if my financial history would count against me. As it turns out, the bank thinks I'm a safe bet and has given me the account I need to start attracting donations and sponsorship. Fantastic!

I posted a couple of doodles on b3ta - here for robots, here for Kitty Raikkonen and here for goldfish, and I hope to do more doodles as b3ta is a great outlet for them. I occasionally get praise, and photoshop tutorials are great fun.

Daughter and I made mac cheese today, but didn't have butter to start the sauce. After a little internet investigation, we used margerine instead of butter for the roux. It wasn't good - the sauce tasted odd at first but better after a few mouthfuls. We'll definitely be using butter next time.

We watched National Lampoon's Vacation too. It was old-fashioned and not incredibly funny, but it was nice to spend time together.

A lovely thing to keep here - I've had the sweetest softest whitest fluffiest cat called Flo sleeping on my bed for the past couple of weeks. I'd forgotten how lovely and comforting it is to fall asleep in the company of a warm, purring animal.

I spent most of the day in a good mood today. I didn't feel any of the anger or frustration I've felt during the past few weeks. This was a really nice feeling!

I emailed an estranged friend back and forth. It was good to talk to her, and it seems we could both do with a bit of company, so I'll make an effort to stay in touch.

I did some more finalising on the charity web site. It's getting very close to launch now. I'm getting nervous waiting for the bank to get back to me about opening the charity account, but it's a 'good' nervousness.

Today was a much needed lazy day, and I took advantage as best I could in the form of lounging on the sofa and dossing on the computer for much of the day.

I boned another chicken. I'm getting quite good at this and really enjoy it. I can identify many parts of the bird now I've got my hands on it and I'm taking the meat off myself. Having pre-packed meat really distances you from the anatomy of the animal and the process of obtaining the meat. I'm constantly amazed how much meat I can get off a five quid bird. I get at least five quid's worth of breast meat off, plus the thighs which I bone, the legs and wings which I cook in with whatever I'm making - usually a curry.

Daughter and I went for a walk this evening. We walked to a local village, went for a pint, stroked a rabbit and was bugged by a young girl. We explored around the village a bit and ate our Subway sandwiches while watching the sunset. Then, as the skies grew dark and the temperature dropped, we elected for a cab home. While I'd have been fine walking back in the dark cool evening, I think daughter was whacked out!

Daughter and I made pancakes this morning - honey, chocolate chips, PBJ and caramel. She kept coming up with lots of happy memories while we were cooking - I think she finds this cooking and eating ritual quite nostalgic. I know I do, and I love the bonding that we get when we do it.

I chilled on the sofa and watched the qualifying. It's nice to be away from the computer for a few hours - it's become my second home this week.

I got fed real Kashmiri food at work. All my colleagues came into the office and shared and laughed. It was very fulfilling to see everyone together and not bitching about something.

I played a couple of new games. Sid Meier's Railroads and Railroad Tycoon 3. Despite loving Civ4, I think Tycoon's considerably better than Railroads in of execution. I also played Rise of Nations, which is your usual build-and-conquer fare, comparable again to Civ4. I found it good going, with much more to discover I'm sure.

I stayed up late. This was nice because I'm usually boring and in bed by 10pm, and it means I'll sleep well the following night.

We got a card from a regular customer at work today. She's just retired from teaching and said 'It makes all the difference when people are polite, friendly and kind.'

It's a shame... I can't think of anything else that made me particularly happy today.

Edit: actually, I've thought of something. I've had a little weed in the cupboard all week - just a couple of joint's worth. The thing that's made me happy is that it's still in the cupboard - I told myself on Monday I'd only have it when I was out walking, and I've stuck to that. It's not like I've not had the opportunity or inclination either. So this is a Good Thing, and definitely worthy of recognition.

I popped in to the tattooist to arrange a re-touch in August.

I did some more work on the web site today. I cropped and adjusted some photos I took during my walk on Monday and added them... This was really pleasing!

Daughter said something lovely and caring about me to one of her helpers, which was nice and warming. One downside is that it reminded me how lonely I am, but that's nothing compared to knowing she cares about me.

I dropped an application form to the bank today, applying for a bank account for the charity. This is a really big step - I just hope they don't refuse the account, as my checkered financial past has been a barrier in the past.

Something to add which covers something I've been proud of recently is that I've been paying some debts off. Instead of my old tactic of burying my head in the sand and ignoring debt collectors until they're banging on my door, I've been using what spare money I have to pay off a debt that's been hanging around for quite a while. This is good news, and it makes me happy that my financial record isn't being tarnished with petty debts any more. Hopefully this will be recognised by the bank when they're processing my application for the charity account.

I walked around seven or eight miles today, in nice bright weather - a refreshing gap between rainy days.

I did some work on the web site, and got a couple of things working that I'd been wanting to do for weeks.

I slept-in today for the first time in ages. Waking up at 9.50am is a great novelty!

Daughter and I played some new games from Popcap together.

Daughter said "Can I put some toast in the breader?"

I had some time to myself on the computer.

I spent some time on the computer today. I downloaded a couple of games, played some flash games online, and updated the blog.

I started playing "Portal". What a great game! Although it crashed on me at one point :(

Daughter, her friend and I made beef lasagne from scratch.

My boss sent some spicy food from the office. Yum!

I won a couple of games of chess against my phone today. I'm gradually increasing the difficulty, but I'm definitely getting better. I guess anyone who plays two or three games a day is going to improve over time.

Daughter and I made Great-Grandma's Cheese and Onion Flan for the first time today. It was pretty good, but could be better seasoned next time.

I've been downloading some new music recently. I've found some absolute gems:

• Hed Kandi: Nu Disco
  
• Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip
  
• Fall Out Boy
  
• Hi-Tek
  
• Datarock
  
• 30 Seconds to Mars
  
• Noah and the Whale
  
• Scratch
  
• Taking Back Sunday
  

I had a couple of glasses of cider in the evening and didn't overdo it.

I made pancakes for daughter when she got back from a trip to London today. She was tired and emotional and I whipped up some batter and fed her in the kitchen. She said "Noone's ever made pancakes for me when I'm feeling rubbish before."

The guys at work told me they really need me, and work would be terrible without me there.

I did some writing, trying to find the root of some of the anger I've been feeling recently.

My Happy Book

A friend of mine has often said that a day's happy memories can often be forgotten once the day has passed. A night's sleep or change of mood can cause these positive moments and feelings to disappear forever.

She recommended keeping a book here I could write these happy thoughts for future recollection. A did this for a while a few years ago, and stumbled across it recently. It was good going back over the memories, even the things which might seem trivial, and reliving the joy I felt at the time.

That's the purpose of this blog. I'd like to record the happy memories, even the seemingly inconsequential ones which make me smile, or feel good about the world, for fear that I'll forget them forever.